Exercising Parental Controls: Setting and Shifting Tech Boundaries for Kids
According to a Pew Research Center study, 66% of parents with children under 18 believe that parenting is significantly harder than it was in previous decades, with the majority citing technology and online dangers as the cause. From screen time concerns to internet safety, digital parenting today comes with serious pressure. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach, here are some research-driven suggestions for utilizing parental controls and identifying age-appropriate technology.
The Digital Dilemma
“While there are many, I believe the biggest challenge is the pervasive nature of tech,” says Ayana Winchester, a case manager at First Things First. “Even for children who don’t have a personal device, their friends have them and will readily share access … there are so many areas on which to focus that parents may feel overwhelmed and underequipped.”
Although parents can’t control everything kids see, most devices offer built-in tools to filter content, limit screen time, and monitor activity at home.
What Are Parental Controls
Parental controls are settings on devices, apps, and streaming services that help limit kids’ access to content. Typically password-protected, these let parents filter the content their kids can access. TikTok, for example, offers a Family Pairing feature, and services like Netflix and Disney Plus allow kid-friendly profiles. Knowing what tools are available is key – but how you use them should fit your family’s unique needs.
Tailor the Tech
While research offers helpful guidelines, every family is different. “Start by looking honestly at your family, its dynamic, and its needs,” says Winchester. “It’s also worth looking at parent friends who you respect to see how they utilize tech. If you see something that works, use it or tweak it a little … communication, reassessment as they age, and frequent monitoring of your children and their behavior/health as more tech is introduced is key.”
Tips for Navigating Tech Through The Years
Babies (Infant-2 years):
Zero is Best
At this age, babies are rapidly developing language and motor skills – and screens can actually hinder those processes. Research recommends keeping devices out of sight and focusing on real-world interaction.
Age-appropriate tech + tips:
• Use video chatting sparingly to connect with family; avoid any other screen exposure.
• Set an example by limiting your own screen use in front of your baby.
Toddlers & Preschoolers (2-5 years):
Start Slow, Stay Involved
As kids become curious and talkative, this is a great time to introduce educational media with supervision. “Be proactive in your efforts and be open to discussion,” Winchester recommends. “It’s much easier to establish a firm boundary that can be modified as needed than to try creating one after full access has already been granted.”
Age-appropriate tech + tips:
• Watch shows together that encourage movement or learning.
• Use educational apps with parental guidance.
Grade School (5-11 years):
Building Digital Foundations
Elementary-age kids are eager to explore and learn. While independence grows, so should your involvement. “As parents, we do our best to facilitate our children’s development at every stage and in every way possible,” says Winchester. “Having a lax approach to any part of that development leaves them susceptible to others filling that gap with information or tools that could be harmful.”
Age-appropriate tech + tips:
• Introduce educational websites, creative platforms, and beginner-friendly tools that focus on collaboration and curiosity.
• Reinforce balance with outdoor time, playdates, and screen-free activities.
• Stay involved to help guide and filter digital experiences.
Middle School (11-14 years):
The Age of Access
According to Pew Research Center, 73% of parents believe it’s acceptable for children aged 12 and older to have their own phone. But even without their own devices, children are often exposed to smartphones, social media, and laptops daily – reinforcing the need for open communication. “I think sometimes parents shy away from this aspect because they think discussion equals acquiescence,” says Winchester. “Actually, open discussion allows for children to better understand the ‘why’ of a boundary.”
Age-appropriate tech + tips:
• Slowly introduce more responsibility.
• Teach internet safety and digital
boundaries.
• Encourage tech that promotes learning and connection – not just entertainment.
High School (14-17 years):
Trust, Talk, & Track
As teens crave more technological independence, consider the child’s
maturity and responsibilities. For example, a teenager responsible for transporting siblings may need a phone. Additionally, the American Psychological Association recommends monitoring social media use until at least age 15. “Consider only
allowing certain apps with strict privacy settings and regular activity checks,”
Winchester adds. “Facilitate the needs, then you can entertain the wants.”
Age-appropriate tech + tips:
• Allow monitored social media and devices as appropriate for your child.
• Promote media literacy and online safety education.
• Encourage discussions about mental wellness and healthy tech habits.
Ayana Winchester
Case Manager,
First Things First
Meet the Author
Lindsey Clute, BA
Lindsey Clute is a graduate of the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, where she earned a Bachelor of Arts in communications with a minor in international studies. Prior to joining CMC Media & Marketing Group as editor, Lindsey worked in social media marketing, managing social media accounts and supporting various marketing initiatives. In addition, she worked as an editorial intern for a local media group. Today, Lindsey leads ideation, conceptualization, and development of numerous health, wellness, and lifestyle articles published in print and online for HealthScope, CityScope, and Choose Chattanooga magazines – premier publications serving S.E. Tennessee and North Georgia.
Lindsey Clute, BA
Lindsey Clute is a graduate of the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, where she earned a Bachelor of Arts in communications with a minor in international studies. Prior to joining CMC Media & Marketing Group as editor, Lindsey worked in social media marketing, managing social media accounts and supporting various marketing initiatives. In addition, she worked as an editorial intern for a local media group. Today, Lindsey leads ideation, conceptualization, and development of numerous health, wellness, and lifestyle articles published in print and online for HealthScope, CityScope, and Choose Chattanooga magazines – premier publications serving S.E. Tennessee and North Georgia.
