Q. I am 40 years old and my sex drive seems to be lower than ever. I love my husband, but my libido is waning. What do I do?
A. Sexual problems affect most men and women at some point in their sexual lives. Most often, these problems are short lived and easily fixed. A decrease in a woman’s sex drive may be caused by physical or emotional problems or a combination of both. Physical problems include menopause, physical illness, pregnancy, painful sex, or medications. Emotional issues stem from stress in the home or workplace, poor communication between partners, unrealistic expectations about sexual performance, problems with trust and commitment, a new baby at home, relationship discord, or a lack of physical attraction. For women, the sexual response is as much emotional as it is physical; therefore, any situation that impacts either of these can result in a lack of desire. In younger women (non menopausal) who are not physically ill, do not suffer from painful sex, or are not on certain medications, the decrease in sex drive is almost always emotional. Having said all this, my suggestion to you is that you look at your situation and try to determine what applies to you and your relationship. Most often, once couples begin to communicate and discover where the problems stem from, a resolution can be reached. For couples who together cannot reach a resolution, sex counseling is a realistic and viable alternative.
John Adams, M.D.
OB/GYN at Women’s Health Services
929 Spring Creek Road, Suite 104
Chattanooga, TN 37412